How does one make the muddy water clear? Let it be still and it will become clear.

How can one relax?

Let the movement flow and relaxation will happen.

Tao 15.3

What is coaching but clearing muddy waters? What is coaching but helping the client relax?

A client had a workplace problem. At least the client thought it was a workplace problem. She felt intimidated by a fellow worker. The fellow worker behaved pompously and criticized the client’s work, attitude and behavior. Client felt highly stressed. Client had a major event coming up in a week that needed focus and excellence. Client was in line for a promotion.

How many issues are there?

First and obvious, the interpersonal problem. Second, the issue of stress. Third, anxiety arising from major event and promotion possibility. What else?

What was not said?

On prompting, client felt she perhaps was playing a game with the fellow worker.  He wasn’t all that bad. Client needed to meet him only occasionally. Why then the big issue?

Why not talk to the person? Or another who could be a mediator? Why not explain the discomfort the guy was causing, quite possibly without even being aware?

What else one do to still the muddy water?

Would meditation help relax the client? Would visualization help improve relationship?

A Zen master asked his disciples building a house with stones: Are the stones you are lifting inside your head or outside?

Said one disciple; You taught us that everything arises from the mind, so it must be inside the mind.

Said the master: Your head must really feel heavy if you are always carrying a stone like that inside your head!

Problem is that we are all always carrying heavy stones in our head and don’t know how to put them down!

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