I acknowledge this graphic from the Internet.

In this 48th verse and technique from Vigyana Bhairava Tantra Shiva says:

Be joyful in relationship

Focus in mind body and energy

Let Shiva rise in you.

How do we find joy in relating? Shiva wants us to explore that. The relationship may be one of the several types called the bhavas: of a child to a mother. of a mother to a child, of lovers, of a disciple to a teacher, of a seeker to the divine involving love, affection, compassion all resulting in a joyful expression.

When in a deep joyful relationship, we tend to focus on the one we relate to the exclusion of everything else. This intense focus is the essence of this technique.

A woman follower once approached Ramakrishna Paramahamsa to complain that she found no joy in relating to the Goddess Kali with whom Ramakrishna had a child like relationship. Mother Kali was everything to Ramakrishna and this woman could not understand or experience this connection. Ramakrishna asked her if there was anyone in her life she related to, any one she really loved and cared for. The woman reflected and said that she has a very young nephew, a child, who she really loved. Ramakrishna told her to focus intensely on this child with joy, love and compassion as if no one and nothing else mattered. After a few weeks this woman returned to Ramakrishna with great joy saying she now related to Mother Kali as her mother.

When one is love with another it reflects on that person’s relationship with everyone else.  It’s not possible to be joyously in love with someone and not spread that joy towards others too.

A young man came to Ramanuja seeking to be his disciple and be like him in the ecstatic love that Ramanuja expressed towards the divine. Ramanuja asked the young man if he loved or had ever loved someone. The young man was indignant. He said: i have devoted my entire life to loving the divine; i have no interest in expressive love to another human. Ramanuja said: young man, if you cannot love a person who can see and feel, how can you ever love the divine you cannot see and feel? Go find someone you can love and then think about loving the divine!

Find someone and love joyfully!